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People usually think of psychotherapy as something that a mentally unwell person can do to heal their wounds and relieve themselves of the symptoms that disturb them. But the reality is that part of how psychotherapy achieves this goal of symptom reduction is by making people mentally stronger. Nothing has to be wrong for the average teenager to benefit from the strength producing effects of psychotherapy. In some ways it's just like physical therapy in the sense that we can go from having trouble walking to walking well, to walking fast, to running slow, to running fast, to running to win a competition. The mental strength created in psychotherapy can look like the following:

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Increased Mental Energy

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All of us walk around with our fair share of mental garbage. We accumulate it just by being a human being and growing up. By mental garbage I mean things like old unhealed wounds and limiting beliefs about ourselves that we've bought into, This mental garbage absorbs a lot of energy. Because this mental garbage exists the mind is forced to spend energy managing it. We can otherwise feel OK but this garbage management can get so bad that there's not a lot of energy left over for things like pursuing goals and developing ourselves.  But, when we do the work of healing those old wounds and changing our beliefs about ourselves our minds don't have to spend energy managing the garbage anymore because we've cleaned it up in psychotherapy. This naturally results in a mental energy surplus. This surplus then becomes available for a purpose of our own choosing!

 

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Emotional Wisdom

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Emotional wisdom allows teenagers to properly digest, understand and act on their emotions. Through psychotherapy they gain a deep understanding of their emotional apparatus and how it can work in their favor. This makes it possible for teenagers to take responsibility for their own emotions and stop blaming others or expecting others to take care of their emotions for them. They are less likely to become overwhelmed, paralyzed or act out their emotions thoughtlessly because they know through experience in psychotherapy how to deal with them. This gives teenagers emotional wisdom that can be quite uncommon for people their age. They can employ their emotional sensitivity and at the same time give a strong impression that they are not easily toppled. 

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Relationship Success

 

The teenage years are crucial for learning about all different kinds of relationships. Psychotherapy with teenagers allows them to explore and learn about relationships and how they work with the help of a specialized professional. This gives teenagers in psychotherapy a substantial advantage compared to their peers. Teenagers learn about what's healthy in relationships, what isn't healthy in relationships and how to go about fixing things when they go wrong. They learn about how different relationships like varying levels of friendships, romantic relationships, professional relationships and family relationships require different approaches and have different needs. Teenager also benefit a great deal from a sophisticated understanding of boundaries in relationships and this helps them to avoid engrossing toxic relationship patterns. Teenagers are social animals and need good relationships to be healthy and strong. ​

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Useful Self Knowledge 

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Part of having mental strength includes an ability for teenagers to be honest with themselves about their strengths and their weaknesses. It is important for teenagers to develop the ability to take an outside perspective on themselves and to evaluate themselves without sugar coating or being overly critical getting in the way of getting a real look at what's actually within themselves. Being able to do this genuinely helps teenagers to develop a deep confidence and resilience and sets them up to make useful decisions about their personal growth and development. Being clear and honest about their own shortcomings allows teenagers to find realistic work arounds and give extra attention where it is needed. When a teenager sees and appreciates where they are strong they learn to refine and expand their strength. 

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​Although these examples of how teenagers can develop mental strength are great and can even be fairly predictable in psychotherapy teenagers often surprise me with the quality and character of the strength that they develop. For this reason I sometimes prefer to think of developing mental strength as tree going from sapling to canopy giant. When a tree is a sapling you know it will grow up and out but it's impossible to know exactly where the branches will come out. Somehow, the tree knows what it's doing and when it comes to teenagers getting mentally strong, they do too. 

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The following is a list of signs that your teenager may benefit from psychotherapy for developing mental strength even though they're pretty much OK.​

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