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We all know what we mean by the term "Behavioral Issues". It's doing or saying things that get teenagers in trouble with school administrators, family, police, friends, coaches, tutors, bosses etc... It can also be behavior that risks a teenager's safety or closes opportunities. It's being violent, destructive, impulsive, reckless, dishonest, irresponsible, cruel and hurtful. It means breaking the rules or the norms for a short term gain that ends up hurting them later. Teenagers can also act-out sexually with behavior like unprotected sex, promiscuity, or aggressive sexual behavior. Acting out can take the shape of drug and alcohol abuse. It can manifest itself through dangerous driving or risky stunts. All these behaviors can be infuriating and scary for parents to witness and can damage a teenager's reputation badly.

 

Behaving in this way can have many different causes but in general teenagers with behavioral issues like this have a tendency to act-out their emotions as opposed to expressing their emotions with words, art, sports or keeping their emotions inside and overly controlled. When some teenagers feel emotions like rage, resentment, hurt, hopelessness or they feel uncared about or depressed they tend to look for something to do with these emotions. It's the teenagers attempt to relieve themselves of emotional pressure and find some peace or fun. Part of this tendency is due to personality, character or environmental factors and part of it is what a teenage brain is set up to do. The teenage brain is tends to over estimate the likelihood that a risky behavior is going to work out and has trouble considering what might go wrong. They need help being more considerate, thinking things through, taking into account what's important to them or worth protecting. And they need help expressing their emotions with words, writing, art, sports or other interests. In psychotherapy it's all about learning to allow emotions to express themselves through our words and experiencing how that lets emotions to run their course so that they preform their function for us but do not have control over us.  

 

Parenting teenagers with behavioral issues is a hell of an experience! It's scary, intense, heart-breaking, exasperating, and infuriating. But they have to be parented appropriately in order to preserve the most powerful protective factor available to us as parents - A high quality, loving relationship with open communication and fun. This protects teenagers more than anything else but it must be balanced with firmness and structure in the right ways. As a expert in teen counseling it's my life's work to help you as a parents thread this needle. 

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Below is a list questions to ask yourself to help determine if your teenage may be experiencing Behavioral Issues.

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